Back Again

I know you have all been waiting anxiously to hear what I have been doing in the hospital the last week or two. Last week I finished my stint at LDS hospital--all in all a very good month. I was able to operate a lot and had a lot of fun with the other docs. Yesterday I started back up at University Hospital doing more General Surgery. My most interesting patient is a 600 pound man with a skin infection above his "package." Luckily, his wife appears to weigh about 4oo pounds, so they appear to be a good match for each other. I wonder if they have been successful at having kids...
Last week I had a Vietnamese patient who we operated on for rectal cancer. Every morning after his surgery, I woke him up at 6 am and asked him the usual questions: "Did you walk the halls yesterday, are you eating okay?, any nausea or vomiting?, how is your pain?, any gas or bowel movements yet?" Since his english sucked, I had to do a lot of gesturing and sign language. When it came time to ask about bowel movements, I did every gesture I could think of, and all I got from him was a blank look on his face. Finally, a light turned on in his head, and he said, "Oh, shiiiiiiit! Yes, Yes, I shiiiiiit." I almost hugged him I was so happy. Then he pulled out a pocket translator and typed something into it in Vietnamese. He pushed another button, and the pocket translator said, "Shit." I laughed so hard I almost fell down. So for the next two morning, instead of doing the whole gesture routine, I just said, "Shit?" and he would say "Yes, I shit." Simple as that. Now I know this is supposed to be a family friendly blog and I apologize for the profanity, but I have become desensitized to bodily functions. Flatus, gas, poo, bm's, etc.--I say these words hundreds of times a week now. My mom would be proud of me.